When I was a young boy
My father took me into a resturant
To eat a bunch of fries.
He said
"Son when you grow up,
Will you be a competitive eater
And make your momma cry?"
He said
"Will you please eat them
Those hot dogs and all the giant burgers
And drink some lemonade?
Because one day, I'll leave you
A phantom, to lead you to that resturant.
To join the fat parade?"
Sometimes I get the feeling
That I really need to pee.
Sometimes I get the feeling
I should go (to the bathroom)
And through it all, the rise and fall,
the food carts in the streets.
And when you're gone we want you all to know
So eat those fries!
Just eat those fries!
And though you are full and done believe me,
You really should just eat those fries, just eat those fries.
And though you lost and you're defeated,
you shouldn't ever give up.
Some weirdo gives you chicken,
potatoes, and green beans.
But if you don't eat you'll
disappoint us all.
So eat your food and don't throw up
Let's shout it loud and clear
Do you want to win the contest?
We hear the call
To eat those fries!
Just eat those fries!
And though you are full and done believe me,
You really should just eat those fries, just eat those fries.
And though you lost and you're defeated,
you shouldn't ever give up.
On and on we eat a lot of beans.
And then we need to cut the cheese.
Take a look at me!
'Cause I don't care if I'm full!
Oh no, I failed the challenge!
I failed, I didn't eat enough.
Though I tried, I didn't win it.
I wanna win, I wanna do my part.
I will explain! Because I'm sorry!
I'm ashamed! I'll eat a candy bar!
Give a cheer for all the competitive eaters!
Listen here, because it's only
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero.
I'm just a guy with an appetite.
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero.
I. DON'T. CARE!
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